"Decay" lyrics

Who am I to correct myself
When I try, I just fall, still get up, but it hurts me
When I'm popping just rest my head
From the way but don't care am I fun or concerning

And I'm not proud of what I've become
So just wake me up when you see the sun
Can't chase a ghost if I become one
So just wake me up when October's done

I wake up to the same drugs
Then tell myself I'm okay
I get stuck in my own ruts
And hide behind the smoking
Looking up in mirrors
As I watch my own self decay
Save your love, I'm not who I trust
That's not how okay behaves

Okay, okay, okay
This is not how okay behaves
Okay, okay, okay, okay
No way that I'm okay

Okay (hey), I'm never holding you
Pretty close to the end, never close to you
To the point where I don't know what I'm supposed to do
[?]
I write these songs with the noose around my neck, ay
Beamers in my chest, you can see 'em on the x-rays
Living on the edge so I pray to see the next day
Will I be okay?

I wake up to the same drugs
Then tell myself I'm okay
I get stuck in my own ruts
And hide behind the smoking
Looking up in mirrors
As I watch my own self decay
Save your love, I'm not who I trust
That's not how okay behaves

Okay, okay, okay
This is not how okay behaves
Okay, okay, okay, okay
No way that I'm okay

I wake up to the same drugs
Then tell myself I'm okay
I get stuck in my own ruts
And hide behind the smoking

Okay, okay, okay
This is not how okay behaves
Okay, okay, okay, okay
No way that I'm okay
Not how okay behaves

Okay, okay, okay
This is not how okay behaves
Okay, okay, okay, okay
No way that I'm okay

And I'm not proud of what I've become
So just wake me up when you see the sun
Can't chase a ghost if I become one
So just wake me up when October's done