"Hate You First" lyrics

I hate you for making me something I wasn't meant to be and
I hate I let you do that to me
And I hate you for changing my mind when I made it up
I hate that I gave up so easily
Yeah, and holding on is weighing down on me

I wanna be free
I wanna be me again, baby
I wanna go back in time to 19
Tell her everything I've seen and
I wanna trust
I wanna let go but it still hurts
You know what you did
I wanna forgive you but I
Need to hate you first

I love me for leaving, I'm proud that I did
And I love that you can see how I'm doing now
It's kind of validating hearing other people saying
They watched you put my fire out but it's coming back around

I wanna be free
I wanna be me again, baby
I wanna go back in time to 19
Tell her everything I've seen and
And I wanna trust
I wanna let go but it still hurts
You know what you did
I wanna forgive you but I
I need to hate you first
Mm-mm

I pray one day I'll think about you and realize
I don't think about you
I had to feel it all to feel nothing
Yeah, I pray one day I'll think about you and realize
I don't think about you
I had to feel it all to feel nothing

I wanna be free
I wanna be me again, baby
Wanna go back in time to 19
Tell her everything I've seen and
And I wanna trust
I wanna let go but it still hurts
You know what you did
I wanna forgive you but I
Need to hate you first
Mm-mm
Need to hate you first