"Up Yet" lyrics

I was born too early, complications from the start
The doctors placed their bets on if they'd save me from the dark
Injections filled with medicine, a tube above my heart
Guess that's why me and death have never felt too far apart

At 17, I did not believe I'd see 23
At 24, another love had left more scars on me
At 25, I knew the high would find a way to fold
'Til 26 reminded me why I'm scared to death of getting old

If that's the way I live, then what the hell's it for?
A smile on the outside and one foot out the door
Not proud of how I see things, but I'm not blind to it
It's wild I'm so tired; I'm not even up yet
(I'm not even up yet)

I spent 27 with Jack Daniels by my side
Anger in my pen to vent
The letdowns, loss, and lies
28 surprised me, showed me there's a plan to life
At 29, I recognize the lines I must revise, 'cause...

If that's the way I live, then what the hell's it for?
A smile on the outside and one foot out the door
Not proud of how I see things, but I'm not blind to it
It's wild I'm so tired; I'm not even up yet
(So...)

If that's the way I live, then I can rest assured
A light I'll keep on inside for when I need the warmth
I'm learning how to see things, enjoy that I exist
It's wild I'm not tired; am I even up yet?