"Something Like God" lyrics

In life, I've done my best to give
I've said all my prayers
I've reconciled my sins
But the hole keeps widening
And I never felt I've lived

The older I get
I realize no one's happy with their lives
Everyone wants
To be someone else than who they are inside
The jails we put our lives in
Then tell ourselves we're free
Like no one on this planet
See themselves in honesty

I've cried, I've held my ends up high
I've raped an open sky
For something like God to come
Find me in my [?]
I don't deserve the life I lived
But I'm thankful for my filth

I want god to
Come down and kiss me on my open mouth
And I'd be a messenger
For anyone like me who ever had their doubts
And I know that there's a reason
We will put you on this earth
And the fear that God's alive
It's only human hurt