"this is what growing up feels like" lyrics

The weight on my shoulders now is crashing on my body
Say that it's not real loud or that you'll ever find me

Waking up and somebody's there at your door
Be another house that can't fill all the drawers
Say that it's all in my head but really, they're from the closet

Oh, there were days I'd feel more than what's under all of this
Under all of this fear that I'd lose all control
Yeah, I'm caving under it, under of all of this painted love
Uh, uh, under of all of this painted love, uh, uh

I'm starting to envy how I found myself in silence
Guarded an empty route that leads to only riots

Waking up and nobody's there at your door
Be another house that can't fill all the drawers
Say that it's all in my head but really, they're from the closet