"I Just Took A Shit" lyrics

I need to shit, I need to park my bottom on the seat
Do I fart or shart my meat?
How much paper do I need?
Half a roll next to my cleeves, just in case it dribbles down to my knees
A half a pound of raw messy from my belly
Almost let it go when I watched the telly
It's getting pretty damn smelly
(Smelly, smelly, smelly)

But now my grandma's coming to visit
And if she sees my stank, she'll go into cardiac
My grandma's got bad timing
'Cus I just sat down and about to brown

Oh no, here comes my poo
(Oh no, what must I do?)

I just took a shit, and now my grandma's dead, god damn it
And now the funeral costs are rampant
I should've kept my cheeks tight
Could've timed it right, but now she's said goodnight (Goodnight)
I'm no longer in the will
Fuck, I'm sad, beaten by my dad
(Bah come here, you little fuck!)
But at least he's glad

I got beaten by my Dad
(Because I took a shit)
And my Grandma's dead
(Because I took a shit)
I'm now kicked outside
(Because I took a shit)
And now my ass is wide

I'm not good for your health
Fuck it, I kill myself
But first, a shit

I really need to shit
Tell it how it is
Oh, I shit in my pants
Shit in my pants!
I need to—