"The Real Slime Shady" lyrics
(Minecraft Slime Rap Song)
The moon is full
The cave is deep
Anybody who is sane is asleep
It's deep down here
Don't creep down here
Or you might disappear
Suddenly down here
Welcome
Come inside my hole
I'm very much obliged
My friends call me
But you might know me as Slime
I am the massivest giant gelatinous guy in this cavernous mine
My only passion is hiding in passages frightening passing chumps
Hi
I'm in your messages
Slide in like catheters
Right in your bladder
Surprise!
Try to fly and you'll happen to find
That you're trapped in a dilemma Kafka could write
You can try and hit back
When I die I just snap
As if I am elastic incised
Look at the size of this bastard
Dividing like matter
The kind that'll happen when atoms collide
Not about to deny it
I'm having a fabulous time
Rapping this rhyme
I cram it with multisyllabics
And double entendres in patterns that baffle you mind
I flip mathematics like a poltergeist
Because when I divide then I multiply
I'm not the sort to die
Wouldn't resort to violence
'Cause the more you try it, then the more I riot
One on one
I'm a one-man army
Come on, bruv
No one can harm me
We aren't going to cause any trouble now, are we?
So, turn around and start running for your life calmly
The moon is full
The cave is deep
Anybody who is sane is asleep
It's deep down here
Don't creep down here
Or you might disappear
Suddenly down here
I look like a creeper's head
If he was dead
Of being beheaded by guillotine
Chop
Instead creeping up on villagers
To burst to smithereens
Pop!
In here your screams
Don't mean a hill of beans
No being can hear a thing
No sweet idyllic scenes of village greens
You're merely here to bleed
Amid dirt and in grime
You might just bump into Slime
Two for the price of one
Look: I'm providing such a good time
I'm the verdant-est slice
Of Turkish delight
Lurk in the murk of the mines
Don't you look twice
A kind word of advice
Hi. My name's Slime Shady!
Dunno why but Scruface Jean's on my mind lately
My baby
Come writhe in my gravy
Twice daily
You're right in my lane
Better drive safely
When I'm pulling you aside, it's nothing like a traffic stop on a white lady
So, yo won't survive by being a cry baby
You can try vainly
Of die bravely
I'm a single father
Mother
Call me "dad" and "mommy"
Flouting the Chinese
One-child policy
Started at the bottom
Now, I've got a bloody colony
I could be a doctor
Teaching epidemiology
The moon is full
The cave is deep
Anybody who is sane is asleep
It's deep down here
Don't creep down here
Or you might disappear
Suddenly down here
I might seem green
But I'm just jelly
Putting you in a jam
Like gooseberries
Ti's very clear I need intervention
Like when I bukkaked Peter Venkman
See me just skeet
Without an erection
Spreading my seed
In every direction
You're gonna need some heavy protection
When I release the rest of 'em
Hold up!
You've hit the sloppiest roadblock
You and your crew can run up and get cold-cocked
We're a chip off of the old block
How come a Minecraft parody's a whole bop?
Even with no cock
No ovulation
We're causing overpopulation
Mobs in a mob
Self-replicating
Sorry we're late
And kept you waiting
Under a full moon
What would a fool do to win a fortune?
And will it fall through?
Couldn't afford to
But could have fooled you
'Cause to a fault you
Keep getting foiled you are like the fall dew
Back every morn new
Didn't I warn you?
Didn't it dawn on you
That when we fall
On your sword
Then we're born anew?
Don't make us keep repeating
Are we boring you?
Though I'd like to stay around
Alas, I can't stick
About very long
Gotta bounce
Gotta split
So, put down your stick
There's no need to attack
If you do or you don't
We will keep coming back
When the moon is full
The cave is deep
Anybody who is sane is asleep
It's deep down here
Don't creep down here
Or you might disappear
Suddenly down here
The cave is deep
Anybody who is sane is asleep
It's deep down here
Don't creep down here
Or you might disappear
Suddenly down here
Welcome
Come inside my hole
I'm very much obliged
My friends call me
But you might know me as Slime
I am the massivest giant gelatinous guy in this cavernous mine
My only passion is hiding in passages frightening passing chumps
Hi
I'm in your messages
Slide in like catheters
Right in your bladder
Surprise!
Try to fly and you'll happen to find
That you're trapped in a dilemma Kafka could write
You can try and hit back
When I die I just snap
As if I am elastic incised
Look at the size of this bastard
Dividing like matter
The kind that'll happen when atoms collide
Not about to deny it
I'm having a fabulous time
Rapping this rhyme
I cram it with multisyllabics
And double entendres in patterns that baffle you mind
I flip mathematics like a poltergeist
Because when I divide then I multiply
I'm not the sort to die
Wouldn't resort to violence
'Cause the more you try it, then the more I riot
One on one
I'm a one-man army
Come on, bruv
No one can harm me
We aren't going to cause any trouble now, are we?
So, turn around and start running for your life calmly
The moon is full
The cave is deep
Anybody who is sane is asleep
It's deep down here
Don't creep down here
Or you might disappear
Suddenly down here
I look like a creeper's head
If he was dead
Of being beheaded by guillotine
Chop
Instead creeping up on villagers
To burst to smithereens
Pop!
In here your screams
Don't mean a hill of beans
No being can hear a thing
No sweet idyllic scenes of village greens
You're merely here to bleed
Amid dirt and in grime
You might just bump into Slime
Two for the price of one
Look: I'm providing such a good time
I'm the verdant-est slice
Of Turkish delight
Lurk in the murk of the mines
Don't you look twice
A kind word of advice
Hi. My name's Slime Shady!
Dunno why but Scruface Jean's on my mind lately
My baby
Come writhe in my gravy
Twice daily
You're right in my lane
Better drive safely
When I'm pulling you aside, it's nothing like a traffic stop on a white lady
So, yo won't survive by being a cry baby
You can try vainly
Of die bravely
I'm a single father
Mother
Call me "dad" and "mommy"
Flouting the Chinese
One-child policy
Started at the bottom
Now, I've got a bloody colony
I could be a doctor
Teaching epidemiology
The moon is full
The cave is deep
Anybody who is sane is asleep
It's deep down here
Don't creep down here
Or you might disappear
Suddenly down here
I might seem green
But I'm just jelly
Putting you in a jam
Like gooseberries
Ti's very clear I need intervention
Like when I bukkaked Peter Venkman
See me just skeet
Without an erection
Spreading my seed
In every direction
You're gonna need some heavy protection
When I release the rest of 'em
Hold up!
You've hit the sloppiest roadblock
You and your crew can run up and get cold-cocked
We're a chip off of the old block
How come a Minecraft parody's a whole bop?
Even with no cock
No ovulation
We're causing overpopulation
Mobs in a mob
Self-replicating
Sorry we're late
And kept you waiting
Under a full moon
What would a fool do to win a fortune?
And will it fall through?
Couldn't afford to
But could have fooled you
'Cause to a fault you
Keep getting foiled you are like the fall dew
Back every morn new
Didn't I warn you?
Didn't it dawn on you
That when we fall
On your sword
Then we're born anew?
Don't make us keep repeating
Are we boring you?
Though I'd like to stay around
Alas, I can't stick
About very long
Gotta bounce
Gotta split
So, put down your stick
There's no need to attack
If you do or you don't
We will keep coming back
When the moon is full
The cave is deep
Anybody who is sane is asleep
It's deep down here
Don't creep down here
Or you might disappear
Suddenly down here
Writer(s): Dan Bull
