"When Daddy Drinks" lyrics

Let me tell you a story
It's one you've probably heard before
But on the night, I met your mother
She was the best I could afford

'Cuz daddy loves to go drinking
And daddy loves to fight
And daddy had a real good time
At the Rock-A-Billy show last night

Let me tell you a story
It's one you're not gonna like
It's about the time your mother fell
Off the back of my bike

Daddy loves to go drinking
And daddy loves to dance
And daddy had to walk six blocks home
Without a pair of pants

When daddy drinks the sun comes up
And love is all around
When daddy drinks mommy shuts up
And the baby doesn't make a sound

When daddy drinks the clouds are white
And you know the skies are blue
When daddy drinks everything's alright
And the rent is never due

Daddy loves his liquor
From a bottle, a can, or a glass
And daddy loves to do lines of coke
Off of Vlad Putin's ass

So here's another little story
A tale of woe and gloom
It's about the time your mother and I
Took a trip to the emergency room

'Cuz daddy loves to go drinking
And daddy loves to fight
And daddy loves to tell the neighborhood
How proud he is to be white

Son, I tell you these stories
'Cuz that's just who I am
Last night your mother ran off
With a bunch of Haitian men

When daddy drinks he's a true artist
Yes, he's the next Gauguin
When daddy drinks he can make a fist
And he can take a stand

When daddy drinks the world's his toy
It's there for his enjoyment
When daddy drinks there are no words
Like "Bail" or "Unemployment"

When daddy drinks the Iggles win
And you know that the Cowboys lose
When daddy drinks stop signs don't count
You can do what the hell you choose

When daddy drinks the sun comes up
And love is all around
When daddy drinks mommy shuts up
And the baby doesn't make a sound

When daddy drinks his eyes light up
And he is never bored
'Cus sometimes all a workin' man has
Is a six pack of Coors