"if I was to do it again I would do it all the same" lyrics

If I was to do it again I would do it all the same
All of the lessons that I've learned are riddled with shame
Every mistake I make is covered in pain
And it's always the same

It's that same dark spot in my heart that I don't control
Feels so far but close, somewhere I don't go
I know it's hard I work on my self control
Nothing ever really came out of anything simple

I've been carrying weight like it's all that I know
Every time that I change a part of me won't grow
I can't find my place in anybody's home
Cos everywhere I go I seem to live with what I know

If I was to do it again I would do it all the same
All of the lessons that I've learned are riddled with shame
Every mistake I make is covered in pain
And it's always the same

It's alright that there's a reason that my walls so high
Been building them out of the guilt from my whole life
And I know it's nobody's fault
I am the only one
Who knows what I could and where I truly feel it from

I guess I am the only one
Who knows what I have done
And why I did just to feel like I've been heard for once

If I was to do it again I would do it all the same
All of the lessons that I've learned are riddled with shame
Every mistake I make is covered in pain
And it's always the same