"Who's A Little Leech?" lyrics
(performed as Dr. Lymer & Emily)
[Dr. Lymer:]
A superior creature!
A gift from the gods to the mad
The desperate, deathly despondent, disgustingly sad
Disappointed, and down on their luck
Whose distinguishing feature
And why I am protectively clad
Is, no, not the three sets of teeth that could pierce the hide
Of an African elephant
Rather more relephant
Is the magnificent, truly spectacular
Marvelous, hardly believable
And unachievable by any other conceivable parasite:
The unearthly ability to simply suck!
Who's a darling?
Who's a dear?
Who's a little blind?
But you never mind
For your papa is here
Who's a little miracle
And proof empirical
Of heaven above?
Who's a little leech?
Who's a little peach?
Who's a little love?
Look! Some luscious juicy veins!
Take a little bite
Whatever will delight
All your thirty-two brains
Who's a little sanguivorously carnivorous?
Please, don't bite my glove!
Who's a little leech?
Who's a little peach?
Who's a little love?
Wiggle wiggle wiggle...
Willingly, and rather thrillingly
I watch you writhing as you wait
Wanting only what you so rightly deserve
Man! Won't you hold her down more tightly!
I might have hit some sort of nerve
No, no, wait, get the plate!
Bless my soul, grab the bowl
And the salt!
[Emily:]
What is that for?
Stop! You're killing it!
[Dr. Lymer:]
God damn you, you're spilling it!
She is most particularly filled with demon blood
The cause of every ill
Let's bleed the bitch until
She's drained of every bloody drop!
There we are
Jar...
Who's a wondrous little worm?
Here's a fleshy slice
Doesn't that look nice?
Oh, you're sweet when you squirm
Isn't it divine that what you like to dine upon
Is what we've got plenty of?
Who's a little leech?
Who's a little peach?
Who's a little love?
Wiggle woo...
You are exotic, and aquatic
Did you know they're imported from France?
Fancy fancy France, fancy France!
Once they were British
The queen's loyal subjects
But nobody objects to foreign romance!
Still, although they're hermaphrodites
Self-reproducible
Supply can't keep up with demand
Now her hand...
Thus I felt it was right
That I make them reusable
Servant! The scissors!
Now watch, this is grand!
When she's pliant and pale
And he's full to exceeding
I cut of his tail so that
He can keep feeding
And feeding and feeding and feeding and feeding
And she can keep bleeding and bleeding and bleeding and...
Yes!
Yes!
Yes!
Who's a darling?
Who's a dear?
Utterly humane
Friend to the insane
From Ophelia to King Lear
And if you could speak
I'd surely hear you squeak
"Dear Doctor Lymer, I love you too!"
Who's a little leech?
Here's a little clue:
Who's a little peach?
It's a little you!
Who's a little diamond
Slithery and slimy
Dearest little dove?
Who's a little love!
You might feel a little pinch
A superior creature!
A gift from the gods to the mad
The desperate, deathly despondent, disgustingly sad
Disappointed, and down on their luck
Whose distinguishing feature
And why I am protectively clad
Is, no, not the three sets of teeth that could pierce the hide
Of an African elephant
Rather more relephant
Is the magnificent, truly spectacular
Marvelous, hardly believable
And unachievable by any other conceivable parasite:
The unearthly ability to simply suck!
Who's a darling?
Who's a dear?
Who's a little blind?
But you never mind
For your papa is here
Who's a little miracle
And proof empirical
Of heaven above?
Who's a little leech?
Who's a little peach?
Who's a little love?
Look! Some luscious juicy veins!
Take a little bite
Whatever will delight
All your thirty-two brains
Who's a little sanguivorously carnivorous?
Please, don't bite my glove!
Who's a little leech?
Who's a little peach?
Who's a little love?
Wiggle wiggle wiggle...
Willingly, and rather thrillingly
I watch you writhing as you wait
Wanting only what you so rightly deserve
Man! Won't you hold her down more tightly!
I might have hit some sort of nerve
No, no, wait, get the plate!
Bless my soul, grab the bowl
And the salt!
[Emily:]
What is that for?
Stop! You're killing it!
[Dr. Lymer:]
God damn you, you're spilling it!
She is most particularly filled with demon blood
The cause of every ill
Let's bleed the bitch until
She's drained of every bloody drop!
There we are
Jar...
Who's a wondrous little worm?
Here's a fleshy slice
Doesn't that look nice?
Oh, you're sweet when you squirm
Isn't it divine that what you like to dine upon
Is what we've got plenty of?
Who's a little leech?
Who's a little peach?
Who's a little love?
Wiggle woo...
You are exotic, and aquatic
Did you know they're imported from France?
Fancy fancy France, fancy France!
Once they were British
The queen's loyal subjects
But nobody objects to foreign romance!
Still, although they're hermaphrodites
Self-reproducible
Supply can't keep up with demand
Now her hand...
Thus I felt it was right
That I make them reusable
Servant! The scissors!
Now watch, this is grand!
When she's pliant and pale
And he's full to exceeding
I cut of his tail so that
He can keep feeding
And feeding and feeding and feeding and feeding
And she can keep bleeding and bleeding and bleeding and...
Yes!
Yes!
Yes!
Who's a darling?
Who's a dear?
Utterly humane
Friend to the insane
From Ophelia to King Lear
And if you could speak
I'd surely hear you squeak
"Dear Doctor Lymer, I love you too!"
Who's a little leech?
Here's a little clue:
Who's a little peach?
It's a little you!
Who's a little diamond
Slithery and slimy
Dearest little dove?
Who's a little love!
You might feel a little pinch
