"what if i was dead" lyrics

Hey
What if I was dead
Would I be up in your head
What would be all the stuff you said
That's what's going through my head
But I shouldn't have to die
To know I'm something in your eyes
My heart's been sewn up a couple times
My cars been totaled a couple times

What if I was dead
Would I be up in your head
What would be all the stuff you said
That's what's going through my head
But I shouldn't have to die
To know I'm something in your eyes
Your phones been blown up a couple times
Like who am I to you
Like who am I to you

I feel like an asshole half of the time
'Cause I don't want to be brushed aside
I just want to be recognized
For how hard I always try
Talking to the ghosts up in my mind
They kind of look like you I'm not gon' lie
We kiss and it tastes like formaldehyde
When you're gone I close my eyes
'Cause it's a place to hide
But why can't I just be there for myself
If I love me then I don't need nobody else
I like to think that I'd choose heaven over hell
This life is purgatorial that's how I feel

Hey
What if I was dead
Would I be up in your head
What would be all the stuff you said
That's what's going through my head
But I shouldn't have to die
To know I'm something in your eyes
My heart's been sewn up a couple times
My cars been totaled a couple times

What if I was dead
Would I be up in your head
What would be all the stuff you said
That's what's going through my head
But I shouldn't have to die
To know I'm something in your eyes
Your phones been blown up a couple times
Like who am I to you
Like who am I to you