"Penance" lyrics

I watch the clock hands go by, time after time
I dream of leaving this place
If I could leave the past behind
Then I would just fade away, cease to exist
Well, it would cleanse all my pain
It's a shame that I ever lived

The devil on my shoulder whispers to me
And dribbles such a never-ending cacophony
Into my ears to blind the joy that tries to reach out to me
Such a dulcet suffering, why can't anyone see?
Penance: A lesson in misery

You will study my rise as you watched my fall
I wrote my love in the cracks of the cracks of the wall
You'll read that "Dying in vain was as good as it looked"
In a forget-me-not written in the spine of a book

I wasted my time falling in love
With the thought of falling in love with someone
Am I killing time, or killing myself?
I think I'm killing myself, sometimes
Penance: A lesson in misery

You will study my rise as you watched my fall
I wrote my love in the cracks of the cracks of the wall
You'll read that "Dying in vain was as good as it looked"
In a forget-me-not written in the spine of a book

I could never grow trees
Still, I planted my seeds
Sadly, you will see, eternal sunshine won't blossom me

I am enough to feel happiness and love
It's hard to say out loud, "I deserve to be happy now"

Well, I deserve to be happy now
You, penance: A lesson in misery
Well, I deserve to be happy now