"Amazon Santa Claus" lyrics

He lost his rosy cheeks
And his cute little belly
He's been livin' on a yacht
He's kinda sweaty and smelly
Mrs. Claus left in the 90s
And Rudolph's gone
Santa Claus is Amazon

He left the North Pole
He said it's too damn cold
He went where labor was cheap
And the taxes are low
And if ya saw his list
It'd make ya kinda nervous
Alexa send my data
Up to customer service

This ain't no milk and cookie thing
The man's got ambition
He's been stirrin' up the cocoa
With the Federal Trade Commission

He been bustin' up unions
Trading elves for slaves
Makin' mountains of trash
And dumps it out in the bay
Dancer and Prancer and
Donner and Blitzen
Are all on reindeer unemployment
Barely making a livin'

He traded in his sleigh
For a big blue van
It's got a logo on the side
Looks like some funky banana, ooh

He cut his big beard
And gave up being jolly
He's been deckin' the halls
With somethin' different than holly
He bought the Washington Post
Still can't get good press
Santa Claus' name is Jeff, alright
Santa Claus is Amazon