"I Ain't Going To Hell" lyrics

Long ago in another century, Hank Hill uttered this holy verse
He said, "You're not making Christianity better
You're making rock and roll worse"

Now, you don't know any better than I what's going to happen when you die
And you don't know any different from me
If we're going to hell or getting groceries, and you don't know
But you're so sure. The books that you read and the things that you heard
Well, I hope that they help you on your search

I ain't going to hell
But I sure as hell ain't going to church

I ain't got a problem we can't solve by dragging me down to an altar call
I don't want to hear no thin speech
Then go and have Mexican to eat
I need money time and to feel free
They're up there Sunday taking all three
Climb down off of the holy perch

I ain't going to hell
But I sure as hell ain't going to church. No

Call Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, and Krishna
Tell them I'm sorry and I'll be right with you
Tell Joseph Smith and O politely decline whatever's going on
I wish your coach the best of luck
May the comet arrive on time. May you make a tax-free book
Now, I don't know any different than you. If God is an alien or if he's a Jew and you don't know, there ain't no way to tell
If you think that's funny or he'd send me to hell and you don't know any better than us
If Jesus rode a donkey or a magic bus, may your life last longer than your skirt

I ain't going to hell
But I sure as hell ain't going to church. Good Lord, pick it

Now, I don't know not one thing more than anybody else that's ever been here before, but it's all made that's just great
If I'm going to hell, it's going to have to wait
I don't know what happened. I don't know what's next
Oh, the joy of religious sex. Good luck, pilgrim, on your search

I ain't going to hell
I sure as hell ain't going to church. No