"No Tail To Tell" lyrics

You walked into the picture
And I had not one clue
Of the trouble you brought with ya
But trouble's what I do

I'll be sooner dead than let a case go cold
And I'll take no cheddar with a trace of mold
I got a hard nose and a whole lot of tools
Rockin' like a rubber hose when I'm bendin' the rules
While I'm on about a bender, bartender, I'm due
For another tall pour of top shelf fondue
There ain't jack that ol' Jack can't crack for you
Toss out all your doubt, like a bad review
Special Agent Pepper, P.I. for hire
Veteran detective, ready to light some fires
Sure, fortune and fame may sway the masses
You're sorely mistaken if you think Jack is
More than defame, I'll deface you fascists
Better tuck tail before I erase your asses
Like magic, hope you brought a gun, you goons
Got you on the cuttin' board with the Looney Tunes

I don't got much left for pals
Surrounded by the mob and femme fatales
Oughta keep a gat handy if she's a dish
Careful of rats, man, or you'll feed the fish
I'm not a punk, don't play me for one
The show ain't over 'til the fat lady is done
Now, sock 'em to the left, rock 'em to the right
Long as she keeps singin', I'll be swingin' all night

Abyssinia, Abyssinia
Abyssinia
Dead mice got no tale to tell
Abyssinia, Abyssinia
Look for me
Abyssinia sorry asses down in Hell

Put 'em up, buddy
A little fisticuffs never killed anybody
I'm rough in the ring, tough in the rhyme
With a mean right-hook, I really need to unwind

Zippity-pop, pippity-pow
Hit 'em with a bit of bippity-bow
Clockity-clop, chip, chop, chippity-chow
Crickety-crack your knuckles and you'll figure it out, ha
Pip-pappity, plickity-plow
With a quick skibidi-plop, blickety-blow
Yackety-sack, zappity-ow
And I won't stop kickin' if you're already down

I'll make you into a doomer
When I leave everything in ruins like a boomer
Shoot first, questions should be saved for later
That's the game, boss, so don't hate the player
No shame in a little cheese-leggin'
But I know most of us ain't gonna see Heaven
Put a crater in your face, shaped like my fist
And twice as many holes as a slice of swiss

The bad actors tied to this go beyond showbiz, mad scientist
Crackpot occultists, even crooked cops
I wouldn't be shocked if it goes all the way to the top
You need a real wise guy to connect all the dots
Who can lay the law down while he lines up his shots
I'm a gamblin' addict, always ready to roll
Gonna uncover how deep does the rabbit hole go

Abyssinia, Abyssinia
Abyssinia
Dead mice got no tale to tell
Abyssinia, Abyssinia
Look for me
Abyssinia sorry asses down in Hell

No string left to use
As I'm pouring over clues
Any more sleep I could lose?
As I dream of the blue cheese I'd abuse?
Throw me for a loop?
Never though a job woulda had me leap through a hoop
But I'll tail every trail, always nippin' your heels
Only time you'll catch spinnin' the wheel
Is when I'm pickin' out a weapon, what I got in store
Is every single kinda firearm across the board
Like a charcuterie, call me a connoisseur
You better clutch your curds, 'cause I brought a war

Crime's on the rise and that ain't gonna fly
All aboard, gang, now we're takin' a ride
If the law's black and white, the line is drawn
But I got bad news, fellas
Mine is gone

Abyssinia, Abyssinia
Abyssinia
Dead mice got no tale to tell
Abyssinia, Abyssinia
Look for me
Abyssinia sorry asses down in Hell