"The Pookeeper" lyrics
JT Music Lyrics
(Zoochosis Rap)
Greetings, zoo creatures, I'm the zookeep
Whom you might see missing on the news - weep!
My duty is to scoop up all the poopies
Any deuce you have dropped, I've got to review please
All I do is snoop through a slew of huge heaps
None of it looks good, because the food's cheap
Now my mind is a turd from this grind loop - wee!
All I find are the words that can rhyme with poopy
Been here too long, and I'm still a newbie
But I don't hate my job 'cause of all the doodies
Something in the darkness started to creep
Why'd I pick the nightshift? Deja vu, screw sleep
If you think counting is all we're doing to sheep
We are past bedtime, but nobody's snoozy
More than fevers running here, nor is it the zoomies
I'll get to the bottom now, empty your booties
Diagnosis - Zoochosis - no wonder we're loopy
The enclosures are open, oh, this is so spooky
Although it isn't fecal matter in which I went too deep
Make like number two - evacuate, tout de suite
DNA rearrange - nature did an oopsy
Brought a body cam with me if you wanted to peep
Simply watching all the footage probably got you woozy
Oowee! This rodeo is gonna be a doozy
Welcome to the freakshow
The beasts can't be contained
Like a number two you've been holding
Through your shift all day
But I told you I'm no poop-scoopin' rookie
If an animal is sick, proof is in the dookies
Any supernatural crap? It's just super soupy
Instead of a broom, I vacuum if it's goofy
When I ring the dinnerbell, I got all the groupies
Dealing out meals, every snoot gets a boopy
I will surely nurture these abused beasts
I'll be there to nurse 'em like a mother's booby
Now how many mouths do I need to feed?
A lot, but I'll not be the thing you eat
I'll admit what I've be dishing isn't wagyu beef
In fact, I think that it used to walk upon two feet
If this FDA approved? Ew, it's awful juicy
Probably gonna puke, but I'll see the job through - see?
You could say my job blows - it is so toothy
Excuse me? 'Cause these herbivores grew a few teeth
I mean the type that look like they're for chewing through meat
Not a huge leap to say, they turned a new leaf
Out the window - evolution we just threw, yeet
My family is gonna need plumber to exhume me
I'm a hostage! This dude didn't recruit me
But the jobless do not get to be choosy
My boss, if he can called be that, I oughta sue, jeez!
I'll be shocked if there's any business that this zoo keeps
What'd they shoot me up with? Now am I a zoo freak?
Was it just a booster? How does that behoove me?
Every single zebra, penguin, hippopotamus has been
Cooped up for too long, soon they'll be coop-free
Get your tickets, this is unlike anything you've seen
But if you're at all squeamish, then you'd better move seats
It assimilates with anything - how groovy
Speaking of the Thing, I think I'm living in that movie
Welcome to the freakshow
The beasts can't be contained
Like a number two you've been holding
Through your shift all day
All we do is eat, sleep, poop
Not lazy, rinse, repeat and loop
Just crazy, we're all gonna lose it in this zoo
Writing's on the wall, but I can read it all within your pod
Haha! I fear no demons, I am their feeder, excrete your secret, I'm the Poopkeeper
Whom you might see missing on the news - weep!
My duty is to scoop up all the poopies
Any deuce you have dropped, I've got to review please
All I do is snoop through a slew of huge heaps
None of it looks good, because the food's cheap
Now my mind is a turd from this grind loop - wee!
All I find are the words that can rhyme with poopy
Been here too long, and I'm still a newbie
But I don't hate my job 'cause of all the doodies
Something in the darkness started to creep
Why'd I pick the nightshift? Deja vu, screw sleep
If you think counting is all we're doing to sheep
We are past bedtime, but nobody's snoozy
More than fevers running here, nor is it the zoomies
I'll get to the bottom now, empty your booties
Diagnosis - Zoochosis - no wonder we're loopy
The enclosures are open, oh, this is so spooky
Although it isn't fecal matter in which I went too deep
Make like number two - evacuate, tout de suite
DNA rearrange - nature did an oopsy
Brought a body cam with me if you wanted to peep
Simply watching all the footage probably got you woozy
Oowee! This rodeo is gonna be a doozy
Welcome to the freakshow
The beasts can't be contained
Like a number two you've been holding
Through your shift all day
But I told you I'm no poop-scoopin' rookie
If an animal is sick, proof is in the dookies
Any supernatural crap? It's just super soupy
Instead of a broom, I vacuum if it's goofy
When I ring the dinnerbell, I got all the groupies
Dealing out meals, every snoot gets a boopy
I will surely nurture these abused beasts
I'll be there to nurse 'em like a mother's booby
Now how many mouths do I need to feed?
A lot, but I'll not be the thing you eat
I'll admit what I've be dishing isn't wagyu beef
In fact, I think that it used to walk upon two feet
If this FDA approved? Ew, it's awful juicy
Probably gonna puke, but I'll see the job through - see?
You could say my job blows - it is so toothy
Excuse me? 'Cause these herbivores grew a few teeth
I mean the type that look like they're for chewing through meat
Not a huge leap to say, they turned a new leaf
Out the window - evolution we just threw, yeet
My family is gonna need plumber to exhume me
I'm a hostage! This dude didn't recruit me
But the jobless do not get to be choosy
My boss, if he can called be that, I oughta sue, jeez!
I'll be shocked if there's any business that this zoo keeps
What'd they shoot me up with? Now am I a zoo freak?
Was it just a booster? How does that behoove me?
Every single zebra, penguin, hippopotamus has been
Cooped up for too long, soon they'll be coop-free
Get your tickets, this is unlike anything you've seen
But if you're at all squeamish, then you'd better move seats
It assimilates with anything - how groovy
Speaking of the Thing, I think I'm living in that movie
Welcome to the freakshow
The beasts can't be contained
Like a number two you've been holding
Through your shift all day
All we do is eat, sleep, poop
Not lazy, rinse, repeat and loop
Just crazy, we're all gonna lose it in this zoo
Writing's on the wall, but I can read it all within your pod
Haha! I fear no demons, I am their feeder, excrete your secret, I'm the Poopkeeper
