"Beatitudes" lyrics

Don't know what to say
Don't know how to pray
I differed my hope
All I do is cope
I don't got the words
Some up all the hurt
I just wanna cry
Wanna be alright
Can't be weak
Can't break free
On my knees
Most days
My face on the floor
Heart can't break anymore
From the pain of the divorce
Oh my God, what's this for?
All those treasures you stored
Hope and a purpose for me
But it feels like you left
Alone in the fight while you hide
Nail in the coffin at the funeral for
Uncle's suicide

Oh my God, are you scared
Of these thoughts that I share?
I feel so under prepared
For the hell that's been staring me down
I'm a clown walking through life
With my head down
I was so light
On cloud nine
Felt so high
Now I am just paralyzed
Used to write songs that people played at their weddings
Now I write songs that are lame and depressing
What is this for?
Is it a test, cause I fail more and more
I suck, fresh out of fucks
Where are you, my Lord?

I'm an idiot
Read the scripture
Another medium
See it different
Blessed are the meak
And those who thirst
Blessed are the pour
And the hearts that hurt
Blessed are the ones in bed
Can't get out their head
On their knees upset
Cause they can't catch a break
Don't know how to pray
Down at rock bottom living in a pigsty
Almost every night
Might wanna die
Nothing left to cry
Just trying to survive
That was me terrified
I see now life had to prove
Like roses are red
And violets blue
I don't know what I would do without you...