"Deathbed" lyrics

I love saving your seat at the table
Getting high, picking out names
And holding your cake when you blow out the candles
A text when I get off the plane

I hate changes
And surprises make me mad
Our plans started fading
When I told god and he laughed

Thought I'd be holding your hand on my deathbed
Never thought love would die before we did
So I mourn and I cry, act like you're not alive
To convince myself this is the end

Never thought you could push me towards madness
Now I'm Alice in the rabbit hole
It's like the past the six months just hit me all at once
Reaching for something to hold

I hate changes
Not knowing makes me insane
So now I'm waiting
For someone to take your place

Thought I'd be holding your hand on my deathbed
Never thought love would die before we did
So I mourn and I cry, act like you're not alive
To convince myself this is the end

Where do promises go
When nobody kept them?
If you don't mean those words
You shouldn't have said them

And how should I kill
All the dreams that we had?
Cause I can't just forget
A life I won't get back

Will I be thinking of you on my death bed?
What if nobody wanted me like you did?
So I mourn and I cry, act like you're not alive
To convince myself this the end

Thought I'd be holding your hand on my death bed
Never thought love would die before we did
So I mourn and I cry act like you're not alive
To convince myself this is the end

Thought I'd be holding your hand...