"Florida Christmas" lyrics

Praise the Lord I live in Florida
I ain't cold I live in Florida
You getting snow but I'm in Florida
This is Christmas now in Florida
It's a Florida Christmas

Some where right now somebody standing in some nasty snow
I'm on the beach with nasty heat I got some sandy toes
The other day it dropped to 78 I'm kind of cold
Somewhere it's cold and grey
But that's just something I don't know
I'm in Khaki pants with half a tan and a pack of ham
Sipping on half a can of mountain dew with a candy yam
AC on blast kids in the back filling up half the van
I'll make this clear you ain't from here well you can't understand

Don't give me no fruitcake
That tastes like toothpaste
I got cake on two plates
Next year I swear I'll lose weight
Flip flops in a suitcase
While I'm sipping on a cool drink
About to catch a few waves
Why you hate this is too great my state is

Praise the Lord I live in Florida
I ain't cold I live in Florida
You getting snow but I'm in Florida
This is Christmas now in Florida
It's a Florida Christmas

Fast lane but I think I'm stuck
Grandma in a nasty truck
And I'm trying to just pass her up
But she waddling like a pack of ducks
Yeah we got nasty bugs
But I'm in publix with half a sub
A cubanito in half a cup
So get my boat and gas it up
I'm comfy
Don't hate up on my snuggie
My snacks is oh so crunchy
My highways kind of bumpy
These manatees are chubby
My gators kind of ugly
My neighbors kind of grumpy
But my Christmas is so lovely

Praise the Lord I live in Florida
I ain't cold I live in Florida
You getting snow but I'm in Florida
This is Christmas now in Florida
It's a Florida Christmas

Praise the Lord I live in Florida
I ain't cold I live in Florida
You getting snow but I'm in Florida
This is Christmas now in Florida
It's a Florida Christmas