"Ash's Story (One Of A Kind Tattoo)" lyrics

Feel like a pig has done a shit in my head
Skull full of pain and mind full of dread
Try to recall, but the memories take flight
Something terrible happened last night
Or did I dream it?
Feels like a monkey's had a wank in my brain (So do I)
And I've been sleeping in a suspicious state (That might be mine)
Last night was crazy (Feels like I've been in a fight)
Something wonderful happened (Something terrible happened)
Last night

The party's swingin' in like a wreckin' ball
People gettin' naked for no reason at all
Girls puking up and tongues down throats
Uncle Eddie's tellin' all his racist jokes
After the after-after party

I met a guy (Right)
Made bestie friends with a guy
He's made me come over, all Michael Bublé
(Mate, it sounds like you've cum all over Michael Bublé)
He had awesome tattoos (Like, what?)
Devil ladies with boobs (Classy)
But it was his magnetic pull
That made me come over, all Michael Bublé
Although he would not stay

He gave me this one-of-a-kind tattoo (What the fuck is that?)
One-of-a-kind tattoo (It looks like it's been drawn by a child)
Although it's slightly blue (That looks infected)
It's still a one-of-a-kind tattoo
(Well, yeah, it's definitely one-of-a-kind)

We danced until dawn
Wrestling moves on the lawn
We had far too much to drink
And now I'm covered in his ink

One-of-a-kind tattoo (That everyone in the Navy's got)
One-of-a-kind tattoo (Do you even know what that means?)
Covered in pus and goo (Just Google it, it means "****")
It's still a one-of-a-kind tattoo
Take it away, feet!

Although he would not stay
I'll keep him close, always
'Cause when I'm feelin' blue
I'll have my one-of-a-kind tattoo