"Wands" lyrics
This year, the country has seen wand crime soar to an all-time high
When will this bad spell pass?
I'm Gary Potter
You haven't heard of me (No)
You may have seen my bro in the Potter Octalogy (What?)
That's eight films, you know, I'm quite smart
But that didn't help getting me a Harry Potter part
Shoulda gone to Hogwarts, I didn't get in
Now, I'm livin' life as a wizard has-been
'Cause life's not pretty, it's actually grim
Not a fairy tale by J. K. Rowling
The wands on the streets are dangerous
They're easy to get, I got two (Two)
It don't matter if you're famous
We're still gonna come for you
Hanging 'round the streets
Getting wasted on butterbeer, disappear
Steal a couple-a tings from the sweet shop
Re-appear
I got a bump on my head like a tortoise
Running head first at Nine and Three-Quarters
(Everybody)
Put your wands in the air
Put your wands in the air
Put your wands in the air
If you don't get respect
Put your wands in the air (whoa, oh)
Put your wands in the air (whoa, oh)
Put your wands in the air
If you're a wizard reject
Put your wands in the air (Put 'em up!)
Put your wands in the air
Put your wands in the air
If you can't do a spell
Put your wands in the air
Put your wands in the air
Put your wands in the air
Dumbledore, you as well! (Sorry)
Since May 2007, there's been seven wand-related incidents
Seven
I used to go to Hogwarts, but I had enough
Soon as I got sorted and put into Hufflepuff
Told the Sorting Hat, "Go fuck yourself", and I quit (Hey!)
'Cause everybody knows that Hufflepuff is shit!
Dead Sirius, black was my heart when my girl got stole
Hermione, you ate my soul
Like a Dementor, Weasley, I'm comin' for you
I got Wizard GPS on my Nimbus broom
Us gingers are meant to stick together
Just kidding, it's just a Hedwig
Put your wands in the air (Oh!)
Put your wands in the air (Oh!)
Put your wands in the air (Okay)
If you don't get respect
Put your wands in the air (Ho!)
Put your wands in the air (Ho!)
Put your wands in the air
If you're a wizard reject
Put your wands in the air
Put your wands in the air
Put your wands in the air
Because magic is sick
Put your wands in the air
Put your wands in the air
Put your wands in the air (Motherfucker!)
Voldemort, you're a dick! (Oy!)
To decrease wand crime
The Government have introduced wand amnesty bins
For local gangs to throw their wands into
I'll give you a guess which House I was in
Alohomora your legs and I'll Slytherin
All the witches in the place think I'm pretty harmless
'Til I expelliarmus from my dick-aramus
What do you expecto?
After I got hexed, oh
Now I walk around with a constant erecto
Would you help reducto?
Might involve a fuck, though
Hogwarts threw me out quick
For rubbin' my broomstick
Put your wands in the air (Oh!)
Put your wands in the air (Yeah!)
Put your wands in the air
If you don't get respect
Put your wands in the air (Oh!)
Put your wands in the air
Put your wands in the air
If you're a wizard reject
Put your wands in the air
Put your wands in the air
Put your wands in the air
I keep a spare in my pocket
Put your wands in the air (Oh!)
Put your wands in the air (Yeah!)
Put your wands in the air
If you're a nasty, fat Hobbit
When will this bad spell pass?
I'm Gary Potter
You haven't heard of me (No)
You may have seen my bro in the Potter Octalogy (What?)
That's eight films, you know, I'm quite smart
But that didn't help getting me a Harry Potter part
Shoulda gone to Hogwarts, I didn't get in
Now, I'm livin' life as a wizard has-been
'Cause life's not pretty, it's actually grim
Not a fairy tale by J. K. Rowling
The wands on the streets are dangerous
They're easy to get, I got two (Two)
It don't matter if you're famous
We're still gonna come for you
Hanging 'round the streets
Getting wasted on butterbeer, disappear
Steal a couple-a tings from the sweet shop
Re-appear
I got a bump on my head like a tortoise
Running head first at Nine and Three-Quarters
(Everybody)
Put your wands in the air
Put your wands in the air
Put your wands in the air
If you don't get respect
Put your wands in the air (whoa, oh)
Put your wands in the air (whoa, oh)
Put your wands in the air
If you're a wizard reject
Put your wands in the air (Put 'em up!)
Put your wands in the air
Put your wands in the air
If you can't do a spell
Put your wands in the air
Put your wands in the air
Put your wands in the air
Dumbledore, you as well! (Sorry)
Since May 2007, there's been seven wand-related incidents
Seven
I used to go to Hogwarts, but I had enough
Soon as I got sorted and put into Hufflepuff
Told the Sorting Hat, "Go fuck yourself", and I quit (Hey!)
'Cause everybody knows that Hufflepuff is shit!
Dead Sirius, black was my heart when my girl got stole
Hermione, you ate my soul
Like a Dementor, Weasley, I'm comin' for you
I got Wizard GPS on my Nimbus broom
Us gingers are meant to stick together
Just kidding, it's just a Hedwig
Put your wands in the air (Oh!)
Put your wands in the air (Oh!)
Put your wands in the air (Okay)
If you don't get respect
Put your wands in the air (Ho!)
Put your wands in the air (Ho!)
Put your wands in the air
If you're a wizard reject
Put your wands in the air
Put your wands in the air
Put your wands in the air
Because magic is sick
Put your wands in the air
Put your wands in the air
Put your wands in the air (Motherfucker!)
Voldemort, you're a dick! (Oy!)
To decrease wand crime
The Government have introduced wand amnesty bins
For local gangs to throw their wands into
I'll give you a guess which House I was in
Alohomora your legs and I'll Slytherin
All the witches in the place think I'm pretty harmless
'Til I expelliarmus from my dick-aramus
What do you expecto?
After I got hexed, oh
Now I walk around with a constant erecto
Would you help reducto?
Might involve a fuck, though
Hogwarts threw me out quick
For rubbin' my broomstick
Put your wands in the air (Oh!)
Put your wands in the air (Yeah!)
Put your wands in the air
If you don't get respect
Put your wands in the air (Oh!)
Put your wands in the air
Put your wands in the air
If you're a wizard reject
Put your wands in the air
Put your wands in the air
Put your wands in the air
I keep a spare in my pocket
Put your wands in the air (Oh!)
Put your wands in the air (Yeah!)
Put your wands in the air
If you're a nasty, fat Hobbit
