"SOLDIER" lyrics

I wish I could've said goodbye one more time
Even wrote a letter and signed it on the dotted line
But when you call me it's hard for me to press decline
I guess I'm chasing all these feelings that we left behind
But I know because you toxic, you just mess with minds
Didn't mean you have to pick me and then mess with mine
I should prob'ly test the water 'fore I take a dive
I guess I need to recognize that

These scars on my body carry weight just like a soldier
Not the person that I wished to be when I got older
I wish we grew closer but we only grew colder
But you left me freezing and it's hard to get over
Cause a broken-hearted person only finds a heartless friend
Just cause I'm a soldier, Imma carry to the end
I wish I could've left but it's hard for me to leave
Cause you tuggin' on my heart and my heart is on my sleeve

I'm not mad that you left, I'm mad that I'm alone
You could've said goodbye in person but on the phone
Such a wicked way to leave, I hate to see you go
We had a family but you don't wanna be at home
If I ever blame myself there'd be a bunch of nonsense
Not my fault so I guess that I have to cut my losses
But you left so fuckin' fast that I just couldn't process
I'm so sorry I'm a problem that sit on your conscience

I'm sorry that we fallin' out of broken patterns
Broken hearts, broken homes, broke and shattered
Sittin' on your knees and then you hope it matters
Beggin' baby please but you came close to damage
You can't plead, I gotta leave, carry the rest of
And I keep my head up and my chest up
And I keep my pride but my mind, you fuckin' messed up
And even though I'm out now, you the one that left us

These scars on my body carry weight just like a soldier
Not the person that I wished to be when I got older
I wish we grew closer but we only grew colder
But you left me freezing and it's hard to get over
Cause a broken-hearted person only finds a heartless friend
Just cause I'm a soldier, Imma carry to the end
I wish I could've left but it's hard for me to leave
Cause you tuggin' on my heart and my heart is on my sleeve

I tatted "love yourself" on my collarbone
Just to remind myself that I'm not alone
Just hopin' it would pass, the path that we're on
And all the memories that last after that you gone
Now even though I'm moving on
There's a part of me that wish you proved me wrong
Some people don't deserve your heart but temporary
That's my fault cause I made my heart your sanctuary

Thought you was the one I was supposed to marry naw
Not the scars you cause is what I hold to carry on
All of these emotions that I hope to bury naw
Ridin' on a rollercoaster, love so scary
We said forever but that was only momentarily
Love so scary but I guess we're better off
Cause our wounds affected and you pour us off
I had a necklace with your letter but I tore it off

These scars on my body carry weight just like a soldier
Not the person that I wished to be when I got older
I wish we grew closer but we only grew colder
But you left me freezing and it's hard to get over
Cause a broken-hearted person only finds a heartless friend
Just cause I'm a soldier, Imma carry to the end
I wish I could've left but it's hard for me to leave
Cause you tuggin' on my heart and my heart is on my sleeve