"abnormal" lyrics

I can't ever just be fucking normal
If I could, I would've, I knew that I should've
I tried to be yours but I know that I'm no one
I wish I could throw up
Now, I'm shattering this mirror

Blow out all my brains
There's a churning in my gut
I'm still spinning homesick
Inside of the underground tunnel
Rushing train, and kicking gravel
Kicking the rocks that bounce back
And I fall over, I trip myself
And then my brain goes splat
When will I feel better?
Am I meant to be alone?
Every day I wake up feels like I've been under anesthesia
Head up, gone
And then we're back
Got it, I'm back, right on track
Deafening my ears, the signal
As the train tracks rattle, sprinkling
It sprays my blood
I tried to stay real positive
But I know I'm reliving days
It all changed, but stayed the same
It flashed before my eyes
Even when I stand in pain

I can't ever just be fucking normal
If I could, I would've, I knew that I should've
I tried to be yours but I know that I'm no one
I wish I could throw up
Now, I'm shattering this mirror
Now...

I can't ever just be fucking normal
If I could, I would've, I knew that I should've
I tried to be yours but I know that I'm no one
I wish I could throw up
Now, I'm shattering this mirror

May I never see myself not knowing who I am
May I figure out a rhyme, a poem, make a perfect slant
May I bear my witness to the death of my intrepid soul
May you never have to know
May you never have to know

I can't ever just be fucking normal
If I could, I would've, I knew that I should've
I tried to be yours but I know that I'm no one
I wish I could throw up
Now, I'm shattering this mirror