"Song For When You Get A Bad Haircut" lyrics

I should've never gone
To get my hair cut
By my roommate's mom
80 percent off
Is not a good deal when she
Cuts 80 percent off
Uh!

Should've gotten a clue
By lookin' at my roommate's 'do
Looks like
Two squirrels climbed up his back
Made it on his scalp
And died in the act

She was clippin' away
I caught a glimpse of myself
In the mirror
I wanted to say
Somethin' but I didn't want to offend her

So I shut my mouth
Then she gave me a spin
I looked like a stunt double
For the Weeknd

I got a bad, bad, bad, bad
Bad haircut
My head looks like a
Baboon's butt (Don't Google that.)
I should audition for
The role of Friar Tuck
'Cause I got a bad, bad, bad, bad
Bad haircut

I got a modern art installation
On my head
I look like I walked off the set of
The Walking Dead

I got a bad, bad, bad, bad
Bad haircut
I got a bad, bad, bad, bad
Bad haircut

But

Haircuts they are
Temporary
It'll grow out before
You get married
Unless you're already married
And in that case,
It'll grow out
Before your second marriage