"Quaker's Paradise" lyrics

As I walk past the church and I don't even go in
I talk directly to Christ about my good deeds and sins
Cuz I agree with the great George Fox that
I don't even need the help of any clergy to rock
They say he quaked and he trembled at his blasphemy trial
But we took the word Quaker back after a while
We paved the way for racial justice and women's suffrage
Our earliest ministers were women in fact
From the Netherlands to Barbados
We spread the message of the gospel to thee, that means you
I am of the Protestant denomination
Formally the Religious Society of Friends goin' real hard

We don't need no church advice
Livin' in a Quaker's Paradise
We talk directly to Christ
Livin' in a Quaker's Paradise
We must act kind and pious
Livin' in a Quaker's Paradise
Just look for that inner light
Livin' in a Quaker's Paradise

We got that toleration, the love and patience
We don't live in one just spot, we go where we are needed
India and Madagascar we've been
Half of our population is African
Can't mistake us for the Jews, that's the Amish's job
Unlike them we use inventions newer than a mop
We enjoy success then we go on to heaven
With the best oatmeal since 1877, fool
Death is prevented by our Friends' ambulances
Conscientious objection, war is not the way!
We oppose entering World War 1 and 2 both
Take my word for it, I don't swear under oath

We disagreed with Darwin because men are not monkeys
Like Robinson Carusoe, we've sailed the seven seas

We avoid all wars and fights
Livin' in a Quaker's Paradise
We raised oatmeal to new heights
Livin' in a Quaker's Paradise
We invented the Bill of Rights
Livin' in a Quaker's Paradise
We wear English hats and tights
Livin' in a Quaker's Paradise

Silence at the meeting, meeting is in order
Everybody's quiet, unless someone comes forward
A holy conversation is only gon' get loud when Jesus Christ gives permission
The rest of us listen
I have so much to learn, I pray that Jesus teach me
Liberty Bell reminds we first helped slaves be free
Remember kids, take oats, not oaths
Forget the cross and live a happy life with your loved ones, dude

They call us the holy tribe
Livin' in a Quaker's Paradise
We roll with that Jesus vibe
Livin' in a Quaker's Paradise
We watch Friends and don't tell lies
Livin' in a Quaker's Paradise
Even won the Nobel Prize
Livin' in a Quaker's Paradise

Jesus Christ and we, are nice to thee
There's no one we hurt, our boots are sweet
Jesus Christ thank thee, It's nice to sleep
I don't go to church, I can watch TV