"To My Fans" lyrics

First I'm sorry to my fans
The shit that I been dropped is bland
No less emotion
I've been tryna grow into a man
Felt something like a victim
Got defensive they ain't hold my hand
Why the fuck I'm rolling up 3.5 I used to roll a gram
I won't lie I'd rather hold my child than hold 100 grand
There's importance in your purpose that ain't hard to understand
Everytime that I felt hurt and worthless I'd cut my hand
Pain race from my mind down to my spine until it's hard to stand
Taking drugs and hating life
And wasting time to make it right
I won't lie it's hard outside
Sometimes I wish I stayed inside
It might feel restrictive
It's inflictive when you face your mind
Any time I say my grace I point my head straight up to god
Lord done lived with me for a minute
There ain't a thing that you could say is wrong
Keep on putting myself through these light hills just to make a song
My brother blew his brains out just to make sure that the pain would stop
They cleaned his crib in bout a week
I'm pissed 'cause it's all vacant
From the earth where I emerge
So I get down to face the ground
I used abstain from reality actually hate it now
USB in while I'm sleeping so I get the data down
I still think about suicide; should I leave myself hanging out
Me, I'm my creators child, still wish he sent the angels down
I do this to vent when I'm conflicted it lets anguish
Internally this shit been hurting me too much to fake a smile
Inadvertently they straight up murdered me to make it out