"The Bong Song" lyrics

I wake up in the street and I'm covered in pee
Then my pee turns to chocolate
That would be fucking sweet
Then I see a big house then it turns to gingerbread
Then I see the gardener with an animal head

I'm walking in through the front door
High-fiving all the midgets on the floor
Don't forget to take your shoes off
The mousekeeper swept up and the mermaid mopped the floor
The butlers getting ready
These bitches are throwing a party
Covered in Lucky Charms, holding a Leprechaun (let's get this party on)

Then glitter will fall from my sky
Then rainbows will shoot from my eyes
None of this has to do with my
My song, my song, my song

Who cares cause I'm really fucking high?
Jesus turned the pool into wine
For these ideas you can thank my
My bong, my bong, my bong

I just wanna make no sense
Hey, look, it's the president
He's riding an elephant
I just wanna be a slut
Big shirts hide my beer gut
Orgy in the castle jump

And then we see elvish kids
Playing with their magic sticks
They're all shooting Uniporn!
Wait, I think I'm losing my high
Reality's settling in
I think I need one more hit from my bong

Why don't we go for a ride inside of my weird fucking mind?
Who knows what crazy shit we might find
So c'mon, c'mon, c'mon!
My songs are all about getting high
My fans are all drunk, gay guys
Who cares if I have to rely on my bong, my bog, my bong?