"Wrecking Ball Parody" lyrics

I have a problem, I need help
Someone please give it to me
I have no control of my tongue
My tongue has control of me

Wakes up everyday, hours before me
Ready to start the day
Doesn't want to be cleaned, doesn't want to eat
Just wants to go out and play

I can't stop licking everything
From the postman to children's swings
To the book of scientology
To a pregnant lady's food baby

Don't make me go into a store
My tongue will have a shopping spree
This is why I have no friends
And like to lick my family
Cause they're freaked out by me, oh no

Maybe I can make the best of this
I can work at the post office

Or be your windows's squeaky spin
Keep ice cream from dripping off your hands
Help my housekeeper with dishes
Help her clean hard-to-reach places
Maybe this curse can be a blessing

Maybe I should take a strip of duct tape
And force it to go away...

But my tongue can break through anything
And it's never gonna stop licking
From dirty toilets to the figurines
Or even lick my grandma's pussy!

The world is my lollipop
And I'm never gonna stop
Nothing can get in my way
No matter what you say to me...

[Billy:] Mollers, what darnation are you doing?
You can't go around licking everything. You know you have a peanut allergy
[Miley:] [gasps] Sweet niblets

Except maybe a peanut allergy...
Oh, no. Now I'm seizuring
Uh-oh... I think I'm dying
Oh, no... no more licking!

[Tish:] Is she dead?
[Billy:] I think she is
[Both:] We are terrible parents... [gasp] Jinx! [laugh]