"The Pub That Doesn't Sell Beer" lyrics

The newspapers say random testing is here
Now all Sydney drivers have dropped down a gear
They've given up drinking, I think it's quite clear
To go to a pub that doesn't sell beer

Pass the ice water, you'll hear the call
Put down your stubbies, your spirits, and all
The old random test hasn't bluffed, never fear
They only drink water, they've gone off the beer

The drunk is a fool to drive in his car
Chances are mounting he won't get too far
They'll pull him on over, ready or not
And give him a breath-test there on the spot

The lawman says, "Driver, you're too drunk to drive
"Lock up your car, you're over point-oh-five"
The judge says, "Guilty, it's so plain to see
"You should only drink water and be sober like me," hey

Pass the ice water, you'll hear the call
Put down your stubbies, your spirits, and all
All over the state it's the same thing you'll hear
They only drink water, they've gone off the beer

Some ride their pushbikes, some ride the trains
And Old Shanks's pony is in vogue again
They'll feelin' so healthy, but one thing they fear
A new kind of virus through lack of beer

Pass the ice water, you'll hear the call
Put down your stubbies, your spirits, and all
Just think of the money you'll save every year
When you only drink water and you've gone off the beer

Now the publican says, "It's a bit of a joke
"Now they only drink water and I thought I'd go broke"
The barmaid's all cranky, but the boys give a cheer
When the bloke down from Queensland orders a beer, hey

Pass the ice water, you'll hear the call
Put down your stubbies, your spirits, and all
Oh, the old random test hasn't bluffed, never fear
They only drink water, they've gone off the beer

Yeah, pass the ice water, that's all you'll hear
When you go to the pub that doesn't sell beer