"dwell on the guilt of saving myself" lyrics

All my life I made mistakes about the days
We stayed up late too drunk
To try and numb the pain
We didn't treat each other nicely
Didn't read the room precisely

Oh well...

You said you'd promise to love me just the same
But all you did is make me feel ashamed
Never meant to say those things while I was high
Thoughts keep me up at night
Sharing feelings while we're fried

Now all I do is dwell on the guilt of saving myself
When everything is good I feel like I'm somebody else
And the sick loves the sick
But I'm sick of the dying
Where's the shame in wanting to get out?
Now all I do is dwell on the guilt of saving myself

All the while I sit and smile
'Cause they're my friends right?

They deserve the hype right?
Deserve me staying up all night right?

Like when you told me you'd be there for me sending concerning texts about my ex
Blank checks never spent for the sake of love and context

Now all I do is dwell on the guilt of saving myself
When everything is good I feel like I'm somebody else
And the sick loves the sick
But I'm sick of the dying
Where's the shame in wanting to get out?
Now all I do is dwell on the guilt of saving myself

Everybody knows now
Can't keep my friends 'round
I got a sore throat
From screaming at 'em too loud
Yeah everybody knows now
Can't keep my friends round
I got a sore throat
From screaming at 'em

Now all I do is dwell on the guilt of saving myself
When everything is good I feel like I'm somebody else
And the sick loves the sick
But I'm sick of the dying
Where's the shame in wanting to get out?
Now all I do is dwell on the guilt of saving myself