"Let's Commit Crimes Together" lyrics

I wanna steal a candy bar
Maybe a car
I wanna get some money
That I didn't have to work for

Let's wear a mask like it's Halloween
And spraypaint vulgarities
On government property
Use the money at the Walgreens
That we got from Monopoly

Let's make fake names
Get maced in the face
And chased by Great Danes
Let's escape on freight trains

Let's wear fake mustaches
With British accents
Call cops fascists
While they try to catch us
Let's do burglaries and frauds
Let's run through security guards
Or whoever's in charge

Let's pull off some elaborate heists
Stars to satellites
Check the dogs, pick the locks, and don't skip a knock
Let's commit crimes together

Let's go to the McDonald's
To get a cup of water
And when they're not looking
We fill it up with Coca-Cola
Well, I don't even drink soda

We just got a crime quota

Let's liberate animals from research facilities
Go in reverse through the streets of Little Italy
On a moped we stole from the pizza delivery
Let's commit crimes together

Let's be accomplices
Rop pharmacists make some most wanted lists
Behead some local monuments
C'mon, buddy
Let's commit crimes together

There's loads of people's houses
When we're not invited over
And take the change within the cushions
Of their sofa
I ain't even broke, man, I told ya

We just got a crime quota