"Never Gonna Mike You Mike" lyrics

We're no strangers to love
Well most of us except for Mike
He's fairly ripped and he's super smart
But for some reason very socially awkward

I see Michael crying while he's eating
When I try to talk to him, he pretends that he's dead

I'm pretty sure that Mike has not ever had sex before
One time he touched a boob and passed out
Whenever I set Mike up with a nice guy or girl
He says, "Hi, I'm Mike" then he pretends to pass out

I've had a really nice time ton— oh my God
(Pay for the drinks)
Holy shit I can't hear you, can you speak up
Pay for the drinks