"Mixed Feelings" lyrics

I'm hard to describe
Can't pick a side
I've spent my whole life switching
Between who to make proud
And who to let down
Wasting all my time wishing
I was more of one color
Less of the other
Deadlock and neither's winning
Try not to feel so different

A Beijing girl met a bluegrass man
And here I am
In the middle of looking for a place to land

With all these mixed feelings
Never really knowing where I fit
Mixed feelings
One foot in each door but can't get in
Still got so much to learn
It's a blessing and a curse to be like this
Having all these mixed feelings
All these feelings

I'm all over the map
Don't know where I'm at
Where I'm from and where I'm headed

If I squint when I smoke
And people make jokes
Then half of me gets offended

Least I'm getting a taste
Of more than one place
Keeping my options open
It's identity psychosis

A Beijing girl met a bluegrass man
And here I am
Making my way trying to understand

With all these mixed feelings
Never really knowing where I fit
Mixed feelings
One foot in each door but can't get in
Still got so much to learn
It's a blessing and a curse to be like this
Having all these mixed feelings
All these feelings

Where do I belong
I'm never home, it's just a visit
Unsure of where I stand
And so I sit with indecision

With all these mixed feelings
Never really knowing where I fit
Mixed feelings
One foot in each door but can't get in
Still got so much to learn
It's a blessing and a curse to be like this
Having all these mixed feelings
All these feelings
These mixed feelings
All these feelings