"still not choosing me" lyrics

You walk out the door like you pay all the bills
Head high like you're king, like I ain't keep it real
You out here entertaining all 'em girls, you clown
But wouldn't let me breathe if I had one around

Took my shine and dimmed my flame
Ain't looked at myself the same
I used to be that girl they knew
Now I don't recognize me too

I'm at home with the lights all crying
Dancing with demons and lying
Telling myself you gon' change one day
But my reflection says I'm losing me away

You got me sitting in silence, dying
For love you won't give to me
The coldest in the streets
But I forgot what that even means

Why you love 'em girls you talk about?
Leave me in pain while you out and proud
Still not choosing me
Still not choosing me

Hair in a bun, sweats on all week
No heels, no lashes, no boutique chic
I used to shut it down when I came outside
Now I'm shrinking just to keep peace at night

Told myself it's just a phase
But the mirror don't lie, I'm a ghost these days
They say love is supposed to hurt
But why I feel like I'm cursed?

'Cause I gave my all and got nothing back
Tryna love a man who won't love me back
I used to sparkle, now I fade
Can't believe I let myself break this way

You got me sitting in silence, dying
For love you won't give to me
The coldest in the streets
But I forgot what that even means

Why you love 'em girls you talk about?
Leave me in pain while you out and proud
Still not choosing me
Still not choosing me

I gotta get back
Find the girl I left behind
With the gloss lips, heels
And the fire in her eyes
No more begging, no more tears
I'm reclaiming all my lost years

No more sitting in silence
No more dying for someone blind to me
I'm the coldest in the streets
And baby I remember what that means

You loved the idea but not my soul
Now I'm done tryna fit your mold
'Cause I'm choosing me
Yeah, I'm choosing me
Finally choosing me