"Big Fat Bitch" lyrics

We were driving to Birmingham, Alabama and my buddy Keith was driving the truck
And this lady about ran us off the road in a Cadillac
She just kind of smiled
When she went by
And he has road rage and he said, "Look at that Big Fat Bitch."

So I grabbed my little travel guitar out of the back and went

Big fat bitch
She's a big old big old fat bitch
She goes to Ryan's and they say, "Shit!
This one's gonna cost us
She's a big old bitch!"
She's a big old bitch

She sweats grits
You can hide a pound of dope
Under one of her tits

Big fat bitch
She's a big old bitch

Who stole Christmas?
The Grinch
Who stole the Twinkies?
Big fat bitch!

She's a big old bitch

Yeah she had this Cajun friend
Who had a pet alligator
She ate that some bitch
Like it was a green Now N Later
Or a fried green da-mator
You'd have to have a turbo-foaming car wash brush
To masturbate her

She's a big old bitch
She's a big old bitch

When she was eight years old she had a Pogo stick that would say, "Hey, Wanda!"
And they'd go "song-tong-thong-song-tong-thong"
And now her Pogo stick says, "HOLY FUCKING SHIT!"
And they go "Bount. Bount."

She's a big old bitch
She's a big old bitch

She gargles and drools and spits
And she makes all kinds of noise
She chases the ice cream man down Cunningham
In her corduroys

She's a big old bitch
She's a big old big fat bitch!