"Hope" lyrics

I could write my life story and they still won't understand it
Greatest enemy I have is the one in my head
'Cause after everything I've gotten, I still wanna be dead
I still haven't found a way to cope with all my regrets
No one talks about the stress that comes along with success
And no one cares about your problems when they think you're blessed
Yeah I got bread, but my life is a mess
And I don't even need a hand to go and count all my friends
I guess that everything that counts wasn't part of the plan
I try to put my people on and they got stabbed in the back
And it hurts way more when you knew in advance
But you ignored the red flags just to give it a chance
And I don't think I could trust again
They say that ignorance is blisterous
How much I wouldn't give?
If I could only make a wish, I wish I could just be young again
Pray to have some fun again
Pray to wake up one day without wanting every day to end
Wake up from a nightmare
My demons never fight fair
No matter where I run, it always seems like they're right there
I just want a way out
I just want a day where I can say "It's all okay now"
I've been tryna change how I look at life
And all the thoughts inside my head that keep me up at night
I say I'm good when I'm not good, but I'mma be alright
'Cause when you learn to live in darkness, you don't need the light
And I don't need the light
I put my life on to the page
And hope that someone feels the same
All these thoughts inside my brain always driving me insane
But a life without some pain, and a life is just in vain
'Cause the struggle made me stronger and appreciate my days
After everything I've gotten, guess I really can't complain
'Cause you learn to the love the sun when you constantly in rain
So I keep it moving, even when the skies are gray
'Cause as long as I'm still breathing, I know I'mma be okay