"Deathbed" lyrics

I can smell the death on the sheets covering me
I can't believe this is the end
But this is my deathbed, I lie here alone
If I close my eyes tonight, I know I'll be home

The year was 1941
I was eight years old and far, far too young
To know that the stories of battles and glory
Was a tale a kind mother made up for her son
You see, dad was a traveling preacher
Teachin' the words of the Teacher
But mother had sworn he went off to the war
And died there with honor
Somewhere on a beach there
But he left once to never return
Which taught me that I should unlearn
Whatever I thought a father should be
I abandoned that thought like he abandoned me
By '47, I was fourteen
I'd acquired a taste for liquor and nicotine
I smoked until I threw up
Yet I still lit 'em up for thirty more years
Like a machine

So right there you have it
That one filthy habit
Is what got me where I am today

I can smell the death on the sheets covering me
I can't believe this is the end
I can hear those sad memories still haunting me
So many things I'd do again
But this is my deathbed, I lie here alone
If I close my eyes tonight, I know I'll be home

Got married on my twenty-first
Eight months before my wife would give birth
It's easier to be sure you love someone
When her father inquires with the barrel of a gun
The union was far from harmonious
No two people could have been more alone than us
The years would go by and she'd love someone else
And I realized I hadn't been loved yet myself
From there it's your typical spiel
Yeah, if life was a highway, I was drunk at the wheel (Doo-doo-doo, doo-doo-doo)
I was helping the loose ends all fall apart (Doo-doo-doo, doo-doo-doo)
Yeah, I swear I was destined to fail, and fail from the start
I bowled about six times a week
A bottle of Beam kept the memories from me
Our marriage had taken a seven-ten split
And along with my pride, the ex-wife took the kids

I can smell the death on the sheets covering me
I can't believe this is the end
I can hear those sad memories still haunting me
So many things I'd do again
But this is my deathbed (This is my deathbed), I lie here alone (Lie here alone)
If I close my eyes tonight (Close my eyes), I know I'll be home

I was so scared of Jesus, but He sought me out
Like the cancer in my lungs that's killing me now
And I've given up hope on the days I have left
But I cling to the hope of my life in the next
Then Jesus showed up, said, "Before we go up
I thought that we might reminisce
See, one night in your life when you turned out the lights
You asked for and prayed for My forgiveness."

You "cried wolf"
The tears they soaked your fur
The blood dripped from your fangs
You said, "What have I done?"
You loved that Lamb
With every sinful bone
And there you wept alone
Your heart was so contrite
You said, "Jesus, please forgive me of my crimes
Sanctify this withered heart of mine
Stay with me until my life is through
And on that day, please take me home with You."

I can smell the death on the sheets covering me
I can't believe this is the end
I can hear You whisper to me, "It's time to leave
You'll never be lonely again."
But this was my deathbed, I died there alone
When I closed my eyes tonight, You carried me home

I am the Way
Follow Me and take My hand
And I am the Truth
Embrace Me and you'll understand
And I am the Life
And through Me, you'll live again
For I am Love
I am Love
I, I am Love