"Stop Me If You Think You've Heard This One Before" lyrics

Stop me, oh-oho, stop me
Stop me if you think that you've heard this one before
Stop me, oh-oho, stop me
Stop me if you think that you've heard this one before
Nothing's changed
I still love you, oh, I still love you
Only slightly, only slightly less
Than I used to, my love

I was delayed, I was waylaid
An emergency stop
I smelt the last ten seconds of life
I crashed down on the crossbar
And the pain was enough to make
A shy, bald, Buddhist reflect
And plan a mass murder
Who said I'd lied to her?
Oh, who said I'd lied because I never? I never!
Who said I'd lied because I never?

I was detained, I was restrained
And broke my spleen
And broke my knee
And then he really laced into me
Friday night in Out-patients
Who said I'd lied to her?
Oh, who said I'd lied? Because I never, I never
Who said I'd lied? Because I never
And so I drank one
It became four
And when I fell on the floor I drank more

Stop me, oh, stop me
Stop me if you think that you've heard this one before
Stop me, oh, stop me
Stop me if you think that you've heard this one before
Nothing's changed
I still love you, oh, I still love you
Only slightly, only slightly less than I used to, my love