"How About Now" lyrics

You always wanted me dead
Well, how 'bout now?
I guess I'm gettin' pretty close
If I refuse the treatment
It'll spread out to my bones

Then there's no turning back
I'll be dead before the fall
I'll be buried next to the mall
The one that's sinking slowly into a swamp

And I'll go with it
I'll decompose next to
The place where I didn't
Have my first kiss
But I wanted to

I always wanted me gone
Well, how 'bout now?
Guess I'm pretty close to the line
Am I enough of a victim
To get it off my mind?

My world becomes so small
Between my bed and the hospital
I finish up another round
Then drive five minutes across town

I am someone I don't know
Hostage muscle to the skeletal
I cling to what I can control
Then barely grieve the things the cancer stole

And I downplay it
To family and friends
No sense in worrying them
But of course, they worry anyway

And I'll get through it
I'll survive it
I'll get through it
I'll survive it
But at what cost to me?