"Wasn't I Paying Attention?" lyrics

I just had the strangest day of my life
Worse than the last week with my first wife
I let John borrow my truck
He said he needed to get some stuff
To pay some bills

Nome ain't a city, it's barely a town
For a place so pretty, it could bring you way down
He kept his huntin' knife titanium-clipped
To a nylon belt set high on his hip
For self-defense

It was a regular mornin'
No red flags or warnings
No, nothin' suspicious
Wasn't I payin' attention?

I didn't see the full gas can he'd set in the seat
I just nodded and tossed him the keys
Did I see shakin' in his hands?
Was he makin' darker plans
Than usual?

John had been clean for over a year now
We all thought he was in the clear now
But it wasn't God talkin' to him that day
It was a beast that never goes away
It sleeps in your brain

It was a regular mornin'
No red flags or warnings
No, nothin' suspicious
Wasn't I payin' attention?

Every Sunday was another doomsday
He'd say "Last Judgement's not far away"
He talked about evil in his blood
He spoke of fire, he spoke of floods
That's how he was

It was a regular mornin'
No red flags or warnings
No, nothin' suspicious
Wasn't I payin' attention?
It was a regular mornin'
No red flags or warnings
No, nothin' suspicious
Wasn't I payin' attention?

John drove my truck down to the square
He thought he would end it all right there
He took off his coat, doused himself in gas
Slit his own throat, climbed back into the cab
And lit the match