"BACKSTAGE AT MINER MANIA (SKIT)" lyrics

One true thing about professional wrestling, kids love it. They're a target audience

Reporting live at the Colosseum from backstage at Miner Mania, this is Doug Dingleman, I'm here with Magic The Mauler and Bird The Bruiser. Gentleman, it seems the rivalry continues. What do you have to say about that?

You come against me with sword and spear and javelin. But I come against you in the name of the Lord Almighty. This day, the Lord will deliver you into my hands. And I will strike you down and knock your mlock off

Now, what on Earth does that mean?

Oh, I'll tell you what it means, Dingleman. It means that the industry is officially on notice. Because the boys are back. In red and black

The time has come. For too long these pipsqueaks in leather pants have been doing karaoke on stage, lip-syncing their brain-dead raps at their little festivals, but I'll tell you what. Playtime's over

Strong words from Magic and Bird, and speaking of playtime, what is with these get-ups? Some would say your appearance is terrifying, and, unsightly!

Well, Douglas, you dress for the job you want, and we want war

War?

That's right, Doug. We want war with the industry, heh. See, the hounds of heaven are back in red and black, heh. And now that we're independent, heh, I feel like putting some labels through tables

And I feel like power-bombing principalities

Yeah, how 'bout, how 'bout taking Satan and his sissy soldiers to suplex city?

Now, hold on now, that is quite the claim. Do you worry about what your fans will say when they see you like this?

Oh, we know what they're saying. We hear the whispers

We hear the rumors, Doug

Well, what is it? What do they say?