"Exploding" lyrics

I am wild, I am open
Rode a wide awake 180 by the ocean
I was fuming by the exit
Now I got all this space, so I can finally digest it

And yes you were a friend to me
But only til I let you see
I couldn't breathe, and you disagreed

I hope I am always exploding
I hope I am always exploding
I see the stars, they're supernoving
I hope that I'm always exploding

Got a hard light on pretending
When I hurt somebody just by holding my breath in
Thank god I erupted, instructions on people pleasing
Rained down like a bar fight on the ceiling

And yes, I did my best
To hide that scary, silly mess
Till I could barely find my silhouette

I hope I am always exploding
I hope I am always exploding
I see the stars, they're supernoving
I hope that I'm always exploding

I hope that I'm always exploding
I hope that I'm always exploding
If the alternative is heavy holding
I hope that I'm always exploding

I hope that I'm always exploding
I hope that I'm always exploding
If the alternative is heavy holding
I hope that I'm always exploding

I am wild, I am hoping
I am wide awake now I've been shaken open