"If You Want To Wear A Hat" lyrics

If you want to wear a hat
You'd better get one that looks better than that
Or on second thought, the hat upon your head
Would look good with a feather instead

Then you need to ask a bird
Which is more complicated than you have heard
For the birdie will not cooperate
Unless you guarantee the going rate

So you need to get a job
For that, you must stop dressing like a slob
As the suit that you are wearing, my friend
Makes me think that you are trying to offend

When a suit is what you need to wear
Get one that makes you look like a square
And if you want some visual relief
Change the color of your handkerchief

If you want to wear a hat
But you didn't know it was as difficult as that
Keep in mind what your brother man said
Let the sunshine shine upon your head

If you want to wear a hat
You didn't know it was as difficult as that