"Red Light Indicates Doors Are Secured" lyrics

We'll ask if we can have six in
If not we'll have to have two
Well, you're coming up at our end aren't you?
So I'll get one with you
Won't he let us have six in?
Especially not with the food
He could have just told us no, though
He didn't have to be rude
You see her with the green dress?
She talked to me at the bar
Well how come it's already two-pound fifty?
We've only gone about a yard
Didn't you see she were gorgeous?
She were beyond belief
But this lad at the side drinking his Smirnoff Ice
Came and paid for her Tropical Reef

And I'm sitting going backwards
And I didn't want to leave
I said "It's High Green, mate
Via Hillsborough, please"

Well, how funny were that sketch earlier
Up near that taxi rank?
Oh no, you would have missed it
Think it were when you went to the bank
These two lads squaring up proper shouting
I were next in the queue
The kind of thing that'd seem so silly
But not when they've both had a few
Well, calm down, temper, temper
You shouldn't get so annoyed
Well, you're acting like a silly little boy
Oh, they wanted to be men
And do some fighting in the street
He said "No surrender
No chance of retreat"

And so why are they in the taxi?
'Cause I didn't want to leave
I said "It's High Green, mate
Via Hillsborough, please!"

Drunken plots hatched to jump it
Ask around, "Are you sure?"
Went for it but the red light was showing
And red light indicates doors are secure