"Be More Chill (Part 1)" lyrics

[THE SQUIP:]
Take your hands out of your pockets
Arch your back, puff out your chest
Add some swagger to your gate or
You'll look like a mas-tur-ba-tor
Fix your posture, then the rest

[JEREMY:]
But I AM a masturbator..

[THE SQUIP:]
We'll fix that

All your nerdiness is ugly

[JEREMY:]
Nerd? I thought I was more of a geek, but..

[THE SQUIP:]
All your stammering's a chore

[JEREMY:]
Wh-wh-what?

[THE SQUIP:]
Your tics and fidgets are persistent
And your charm is non-existent
Fix your vibe, then fix some more

Buh

[JEREMY:]
Wha?

[THE SQUIP:]
Buh

[JEREMY:]
Wha?

[THE SQUIP:]
No

[JEREMY:]
Aah!

[THE SQUIP:]
Stop

Oh, everything about you is so terrible
Whoa, everything about you makes me wanna die

[JEREMY:]
Jesus Christ...

[THE SQUIP:]
So don't freak out
And don't resist
And have no doubt
If I assist
You will
Be more chill

First thing's first, go buy a new shirt

[JEREMY:]
What?! What's wrong with my shirt..

[THE SQUIP:]
It's better if you just comply
My job's to color your aesthetic
And make you seem much less pathetic
Just step and fetch, don't ask me why

[JEREMY:]
How are you with math homework?

[THE SQUIP:]
I'm a super-computer, Jeremy. I'm made of math
Oh, everything about you is so terrible

[PEOPLE IN THE MALL:]
Everything about you sucks!
Everything about you sucks!

[THE SQUIP:]
Whoa, everything about you makes me wanna die

[PEOPLE IN THE MALL:]
Everything about you sucks!
Everything about you sucks!

[THE SQUIP & PEOPLE IN THE MALL:]
All the people in the mall
Think you're such a slob

[PEOPLE IN THE MALL:]
You're a slob!
Terrible!
Such a slob!

[THE SQUIP:]
And boy, can I see why!

Now you try picking a shirt
That's a girl's shirt

[JEREMY:]
Sorry...

[CHLOE:]
...Jerry?

[JEREMY:]
Jeremy

[CHLOE:]
You shop here?

[JEREMY:]
Oh, yeah all the time..

[THE SQUIP:]
Never

[JEREMY:]
Never. Is what I meant to...

[THE SQUIP:]
Greet the beta

[JEREMY:]
Oh. Hey, Brooke

[THE SQUIP:]
"You look sexy"

[JEREMY:]
I can't say that to a hot girl!

[THE SQUIP:]
Don't smile. Stare intensely. Speak like you don't care about your own death

[JEREMY:]
Lookin' pretty sexy, Brooke

[BROOKE:]
Thanks

[CHLOE:]
Is that a girl's shirt?

[JEREMY:]
No

[THE SQUIP:]
"Yes"

[JEREMY:]
Yes

[THE SQUIP:]
Repeat after me..

I saw it in the window
And I couldn't dismiss

[JEREMY:]
I saw it in the window
And I couldn't dismiss

[THE SQUIP:]
I was dating a girl and
She had a shirt just like this

[JEREMY:]
I was dating a girl and
She had a shirt just like this

[THE SQUIP:]
It's still painful

[JEREMY:]
It's still painful

[CHLOE:]
So, who was this mystery girl?

[JEREMY:]
Oh, you've probably never heard of her, so..

[THE SQUIP:]
Madeline

[JEREMY:]
Madeline

[CHLOE:]
What?

[JEREMY:]
She's French

[CHLOE:]
Ugh! She is NOT French! She just pretends to be for attention!

[BROOKE:]
Madeline broke up with you?

[JEREMY:]
Yeah...

[THE SQUIP:]
No

[JEREMY:]
I mean..

[THE SQUIP:]
I broke up with her

[JEREMY:]
I broke up with her

[THE SQUIP:]
'Cause she was
Cheating on me

[JEREMY:]
'Cause she was
Cheating on me

[THE SQUIP:]
Hey, Hamlet. Be more chill