"Understanding" lyrics

Grey city, 2016
Night bus home, N19
Chain link, rain and concrete
Lashing out and falling
Picking quarters up off the hardwood
Skytrain, Joyce-Collingwood
Losing floating knowing
Stopping pain from showing

Hell to me in the moment
Scream internally
Soul exits me
Through all the lines I write
In basements far away
If I can purge
This broken hurt
In haunted words
Will it surround me?
And like the city nights
Just drift away

I couldn't figure it out
I couldn't fix it by myself
I couldn't do it alone

I couldn't figure it out
I couldn't fix it by myself
Everyone else seems so strong and

I tried to offer up my pain to be understood
But I don't think it's my pain that can be understood
Or needs understanding

There's not a lot of pain in the world that makes any sense
I wonder where all this pain comes from
And this evil is
And where it lives

Future wide open
But defined as broken
Every achievement
Hoping, wishing, aching, never knowing
The pain I write about
So I don't fucking die
Interpreted as everything
I've got to offer in this life
Fuck no!

Time is a circle
Forever hurtful
No hesitation
Nostalgia or ideation

I couldn't figure it out
I couldn't do it alone
I couldn't fix it by myself
Everyone else seemed so strong

I tried to offer up my pain to be understood
But I don't think it's my pain that can be understood
Or needs understanding

There's not a lot of pain in the world that makes any sense

Maybe people need to be understood instead

I tried to understand why it happened like that
But it just made my soul break down (Break down and)
I didn't want things to go like that
For a while I was confused
But now I think I understand