"Sugar/Tzu" lyrics

Ladies and gentlemen, are you ready for the sporting event of the year? To the thousands in attendance, and to the millions watching around the world, let's see some thunder!

Posterity will show me to be
The greatest the world has ever seen
A genius among non-entities

The Leadweight clash of the century
February 31st, 2163
I was there, but could not see
Being a 3 foot 3 superfluous freak
Blinded by necks, upper backs and knees
Folded fat, flapped by the breeze
Sun Sugar in the red trunks
Sun Tzu in the blue
Both ran to the centre of the ring
While the rhinestone suit continued to sing
Sun Sugar, a simple man, cut from coarse cloth
Sun Tzu, seeking strength from a snakeskin broth
Weighing in at
Six hundred pounds

I ran through legs to the front of the crowd
Sun Sugar came over
Sun Sugar came over, and shook my hand
He turned away, and I shot him in the back
Sun Sugar came over and shook my fucking hand
He turned away, and I might shot him in the back
Sun Tzu raised his arms
Crowned champ while Sugar bled on
No doctor on the scene
The audience won!

Eventually found sentenced to life
Spent reading the letters of a million wives
Sun Sugar came, wouldn't be shit without me
The youngest executioner in tabloid memory