"The Dismemberment Song" lyrics

Hold still, my sweet
I'm trying to measure the space between
Your molar and your jaw
This caliper
No cause for fear, no, it, it doesn't hurt
It only helps me measure

How much skin you have
Oh, and the topmost layer of fat
But I won't make an incision
'Till you're nice and numb
Oh, and laughing gas can be so much fun
Please don't doubt my decision

This'll be ooh, this'll be aah
This'll be absolutely whee
This'll be nice, this'll be neat
And bring you closer to me
So don't you squirm, don't you fret
I'm not gonna hurt you yet
I just feel the need to be getting
A little of you, a lot of blood-letting
I know the sensation you're probably dreading
But cutting you up will be so refreshing for me
Refreshing for me, yeah

No, don't you cry
And don't call Miriam, she's my alibi
Oh, let me check your toes out
Aren't your toenails cute
And red is such a lovely color on you
But you won't be needing those

When you've got no knees
Or shins, or pinky fingers, or arteries
So hold still while I remove them
Oh, and don't fight back
I think you'll find you're missing the point with that
That's enough out of you

And this'll be ooh, this'll be aah
This'll be absolutely whee
This'll be nice, this'll be neat
And bring you closer to me
So don't you squirm, don't you fret
I'm not gonna hurt you yet
I just feel the need to be getting
A little of you, a lot of blood-letting
I know the sensation you're probably dreading
But cutting you up will be so refreshing for me, yeah
Refreshing for me, yeah

Well, once upon a time, that's where the plot begins
And right after the end, well, that's where the plot thins, and
I've got no angel to keep me in line
So I'm taking your narrative, and I'm making it mine
'Cause I'm all out of hurt, you've used up all I've got
So I'm chopping you up and still coming up squat
If I wanted to bleed, I'd just roll up my sleeve
And saw and saw and saw
And saw and saw and saw
And saw and saw and saw
Oh yeah

This'll be ooh, this'll be aah
This'll be absolutely whee
This'll be nice, this'll be neat
And bring you closer to me
So don't you squirm, don't you fret
I'm not gonna hurt you
No, no, no, not yet
I just feel the need to be getting
A little of you, a lot of blood-letting
I know the sensation you're probably dreading
But there's one thing you're forgetting

There's nothing like the thrill of a shredding
And this is no orthodox beheading
And cutting you up
Cutting you up
Cutting you up is gonna be so refreshing for me
Refreshing for me, yeah
Refreshing for me
Ooh, ooh