Blue October - I Laugh At Myself Lyrics

Blue October Lyrics

"I Laugh At Myself"

This is the part where I laugh at myself
And the world for thinking that things could actually change
Just like the old me you knew once before
Who almost destroyed and lost everything to this same damn thing
I'm once again in my head, I'm way over my head
And I can't seem to find a place to put all this pain
My hope is a fraud and I can't talk to God
I believed in the good of the world and now I'm just ashamed

I want to drink 'cause I'm mad and I'm angry
But I swore I promised my wife that I wouldn't drink again
There were so many chances I had that I wasted
As time went on by that were never to be seen again
And I never felt bad or guilty about moving on with my life
But I could never move on from you in the end
So I fight for love, come on break my heart

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Writer(s): Justin Furstenfeld

Justin Furstenfeld explained in a commentary of "I Laugh At Myself", "It's about where I was at the beginning of the making of this album. [...] This song is a direct emotion and feeling of how where I was when I was still involved in court and just trying to see my daughter anyway. I didn't have that much faith." He also added, "This song meant a lot to me when I was writing it. I wrote it in a car. I had to pull over and write the lyrics down. That's where the whole fight for love came from. Was fighting for the better of family, for a better future. And sometimes you do have to fight and live with depression at the same time. I proud of that song. That's why I put it first, 'cause that's when I recognized that I was dealing with that still."