"Love For Sale" lyrics

Well I woke up this morning I rolled out of bed
I felt like a dog who's been kicked in the head
Checked out my mail there was letter that read
Love for sale, love for sale

I picked up the phone I called everyone I could
I let my fingers do the walking through the telephone book
You can't catch a fish if you ain't got the hook
Love for sale, love for sale

Send up a signal throw me a line
Somebody explain " this funny Valentine"
It might not be legal but it sure ain't a crime
I'm one step from crazy and two steps behind

I called Lt. Columbo from my TV set
I've tried the Dating Game I haven't found her yet
I'm hoping that she's looking like a Penthouse Pet
Love for sale, love for sale

We've been living together 3 years
2 hours, 20 minutes maybe four hundred beers
You can't shop for love when you're shopping at, Sears
Love for sale, love for sale

I guess I've learnt my lesson it was easy to see
My old lady she played this joke on me
I never looked where I forgot it would be
Love for sale, love for sale